Nigel Barksfield's Conversations From the English Classroom

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Nigel Barksfield's Conversations From the English Classroom

'Waltham Star Certificate, Triangulum Galaxy'
Waltham Star Certificate, Triangulum

Good morning, students.
Good morning, Nigel.
How are you today?
I'm fine thank you. And you?
Yes, I'm fine too thanks, you may sit down.

Children: Look! A zoo; we're happy.
Mom: Look! Two elephants. They're big and heavy.
Dad: Look! A snake. It's thin and sad.
Sister: Look! A hummingbird. It's small and light.
Look! A strawberry milkshake. It's thick and cold.

Brother: Look! My sister. She's hot and thirsty.
Look! A pizza. It's thick and hot.

Sister: Look! My brother. He's hungry and happy.
Mom and Dad: Look! You're fat!

Does the Commodore have the power steering?
Power steering. You don't need 'the'.
Good question! Because power steering is just a compound, uncountable noun. In an informal situation such as this, you don't need to include a determiner for the noun, for example a system; therefore, you don't need to use an article. You shouldn't use the definite article with just power steering when you mention it for the first time, however, you can go on to say, "Does the power steering in the Commodore cost much?"

Hi, Phil! How are things?
Oh, not so bad, thanks.
How's Sue?
She's OK. What about you and Cathy?
Oh, we're both fine, thanks.

Girl fan: I've just bought the new JC album from The Mall - it's so cool! Have you heard it yet?
Boy friend: No, I'm not that into her, I love blues stuff; and heavy metal of course.
Girl fan: Of course. I think she's going to have another smash with this; even the title's beautiful - "Love me from Mars".
Boy friend: Have you been to see her in concert?
Girl fan: Oh, yes! I saw her at Impact in 2003. It was awesome!
Boy friend: Do you belong to her fanclub?
Girl fan: Yes, I think so: as long as my membership fee got there.
Boy friend: I'd like to listen if it's so good.
Girl fan: OK. Why not come around to my house this evening? We can listen on my new CD player.
Boy friend: Good idea!

At home...
Friend: Nigel, how old is this white rock with fossil shells?
Nigel: About 60 million years old.
Friend: Wow!
Nigel: Let's go on holiday and look for fossil shells in Paak Tai.
Friend: OK, and I can eat king prawns on the beach.
Nigel: Fantastic!
On the beach...
Friend: I can see red rocks on the beach.
Nigel: Look, they have the same fossil shells as the white rock at home.
Friend: Nigel, how old are these red rocks?
Nigel: They must be the same age as the white rock at home.

I speak Laos.
Don't you mean, 'I speak loudly'?
No, I mean I speak the Laotian language. Ha, ha!

Oolomsomboon, the frog that believes in universal harmony, asked a policeman he was circling, "Could you tell me how to get to the river, please?"
The policeman answered, "Yes. Go along this road; turn left at the flyover and take the tenth lane on the right."

May I book a twice room, please?
Do you mean you would like to book a room twice, sir?
No, I mean a room with a twice bed.
I see!

Nigel: These are my fingers. Please, touch your fingers. What are you doing?
Student: I am touching my fingers.

What time is it?
Buy a'clock!

Gen: What did you do last night?
Nig: I talked to my brother and watched a movie about a student chef and his girlfriend. This student studied and practised a recipe for rice cookies. He planted some rice and then baked the cookies in his oven. Then his 'friend' walked into the kitchen and played a trick. He added glue to the cookies!
Gen: Really! What happened?
Nig: They tasted bad. The girlfriend visited the student chef. She asked, "Can I have a cookie, please?"
Gen: What did he say?
Nig: He said, "Here you are - some sticky, rice cookies."

Pharmacy assistant through a mask: 131.
Nigel: 131! But it was marked at 69 baht on the shelf barker!
Pharmacy assistant: No, I mean one, free one - buy one, get one free.
Nigel: Haha! That's a good deal, I'll take them. Thank you.

Detective: A computer disappeared from work at about 3 pm yesterday.
Constable: Were you at work at 3pm yesterday?
Suspect A: No, I wasn't. I was at the hairdresser. I was having a haircut.
Suspect B: No, I wasn't. I was at the toy shop. I was shopping for Christmas.
Suspect C: No, I wasn't. I was at the sweet shop. I was with my children.
Suspect D: No, I wasn't. I was at the dentist's surgery. I was having a check-up.
Suspect E: No, I wasn't. I was at the underground station. I was waiting for a tube train.
Suspect F: No, I wasn't. I was at the bus station. I was buying a ticket.
Suspect G: No, I wasn't. I was at the fair. I was watching a film.
Suspect H: No, I wasn't. I was at home. I was sleeping.
Suspect I: No, I wasn't. I was at the bookshop. I was buying a comic book.
Constable: Well chief, any ideas?
Detective: Yes, it was suspect G because you can't see a film at the fair.

Which is the tastiest food in Thailand?
I think tom yum goong is the tastiest, but I like ice cream, too.
Ice cream is the coldest food, but which is the hottest?
I think somtum is the hottest.
But it's a salad! Oh, you mean spicy hot!

Supanut: Do you like my new socks, Rita?
Rita: Yes, how much were they?
Supanut: B400.
Rita: B400! Hey! Those are the most expensive socks I've ever seen.
Supanut: Yes, I usually buy them on the Internet, but sometimes I buy them from a salesman. He says they are expensive because they have special holes in the toes and heels to let the air in.
Rita: Real cool idea!

Nigel: Look at the pictures, please. You can go skiing. You can go surfing. You can go shopping. Now, what about the last picture? It's a horse.
Student: You can go horsing!

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Nigel Barksfield's Conversations From the English Classroom
created June 2nd, 2021